Trait Example - Word Choice


Advanced/5:

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My Story

I was finally dead. Released from my past life of torture and pain. And what now? What will become of me now? That is not important. It is time for me to tell you my story from the beginning to the end. That way you can also feel my pain.

I was born in 1933 in a small Mississippi town, population 5,000, give or take. My mother died at my birth. I never knew who my father was. When they couldn't hold me at the hospital anymore, I was sent to the county orphanage. The headmistress, Mrs. Frankmore personally came to the hospital to pick me up. People told me she treated me well. The way it was said made me figure that that wasn't always the case.

When I was a year old, the money for the orphanage dried up. It was bankrupt. I guess other places took most of the kids. I don't know. I didn't understand cruelty yet because I had Mrs. Frankmore. Judith, that was her first name, took me in with her when the orphanage went belly-up. Most times she did without and was practically starving so she could feed me. I think she really loved me. I don't know why.


Acceptable/3:

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Working Lessons

All my experiences in life couldn't prepare me for my first job. This was one of the hardest adjustments for me, trying to combine work, school and the other problems that arise from day to day. My first, and only, job has been at a restaurant. Some people think fast-food is the lowest job you can have, but this job has taught me some of the most important lessons, points, and morals, that I've learned in my short life. It's also been a source for me to reaffirm values and morals that I already had in my life.

During the summer break, I got promoted to a manager. This new position has brought new responsibilities for me, and has given me a new perspective on seeing things. When I first started, a hatred of management and upper level employees set in. Personally, I thought they were being bossy and full of themselves. Now, being in their shoes, I have seen the flaws and wrongs in my previous judgements. Isn't it strange how a small change can create a big difference in how you see things?


Unacceptable/1:

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The Stepdad

One brisk September morning a lady in her mid thirties by the name of Sue called her lawyer to file a divorce papers on her husband John,. After Sue got off the phone with her lawyer she went to work. A week past and the papers still did not show up at her door, so Sue called her lawyer and the lawyer said, "I will send them right away." So a week later the papers showed up in the mail.

Sue not ready to tell her three children Amanda, Katie, and Eric, she hide them under the bed. Amanda who is nine is the youngest of the three. then there is Eric who is 14. Then finally there is Katie who is 15. Amanda one day was jumping on her Mom's bed, fell of the bed and sited a manila folder. In side of it was the divorce papers. Amanda then told the other two kids about what she found. The kids held it inside of them for a long long time intel one day when Katie was talking to her mom and it accidentally slipped out, "are you and dad getting a divorce?"


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